Living the Dream Read online

  Laughing, I pour myself a glass and say lightly, “Idiot. You can pretend all you want that things are difficult but you forget I know you so well. You have a myriad of assistants to do your bidding and the only difficult decision you have to make is whether to take one hour for lunch or two. You’re a fraud, you know that?”

  He laughs and raises his glass to mine. “Busted by my own wife. I should have known.”

  I busy myself with preparing dinner while he heads off to shower and change.

  As I work, I feel that smug sense of satisfaction that I wear well as I think about how great my life is. A handsome husband, amazing home and money that never dries up. I have a group of friends who complete my dream life and I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, maybe just one - a family. I want a family so badly it hurts but Anthony is so busy he keeps on telling me we should put it off. He wants to be home for his children, not working every hour and says it’s unfair to bring children into our fast-paced life.

  I actually disagree because it hurts me so much when I see mothers with children in the town and on the television. It always reinforces the fact that something big is missing from my life that all the money in the world can’t replace.

  Sighing, I turn my attention to dishing up our supper and admonish myself for being so selfish. Anthony’s right, it isn’t the right time and I should know that more than most. My own parents had just one child—me and then spent the rest of my life passing me on to anyone else who would have me. Nannies, boarding school, finishing school and university. Even my holidays were spent bettering myself by sending me off to work in poor countries and internships to grow my CV. I had everything as a child except actual parents who loved me. They are now strangers because they never wanted me to be part of their lives and that, as it turns out, is fine. Maybe I have never loved them, it certainly feels that way, so why would I want that for my children? No, Anthony is right, now is not the time—the trouble is, will it ever be?

  Over dinner, I tell him about the visit to the fortune teller and he raises his eyes. “Typical Fleur. I’m surprised at you though, darling. I wouldn’t have thought it was your thing.”

  I shrug, “It isn’t but you know Fleur and it’s just best to go along with what she arranges.”

  He shakes his head. “You know, you never used to be a doormat, what happened?”

  I look at him in surprise and he winks to take the sting from his words. “Doormat? I’m hardly that.”

  He shrugs, and I feel irritated. “Why, how does pleasing one’s friends make me a doormat?”

  Laughing, he helps himself to more salad and smiles sweetly. “Nothing; it’s what I like most about you, you’re loyal, funny and kind. It’s what makes you so popular but I just wish you would stand up for yourself occasionally. Take today for instance. If you didn’t want to go, you should have said no, but you went anyway. Instead, you followed Fleur to a place that brought you no joy whatsoever and I’m guessing you paid a lot of money for the privilege. Just harden up a little darling, that’s all I’m saying.”

  Sinking back in my seat, I groan. “That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have to actually face the woman.”

  Anthony laughs and reaching across, grabs my hand and squeezes it gently. “I know. To be honest, I don’t know what Anton sees in her. Even I can see she’s a gold digger.”

  I stare at him in shock and he shrugs. “She is, which is why he probably hasn’t made it official. I’m guessing he makes use of the benefits she brings and turns a blind eye to her flaws. You mark my words though; the shine will soon wear off and the excitement fade. That little lady’s days are numbered because I’m pretty sure Anton has an endless stream of wannabees queuing up to take her place. Just be careful, that’s all I’m saying.”

  He carries on eating and despite his harsh words, I have to agree with him. Fleur and Anton haven’t been together long and even though she is drop-dead gorgeous with a body to die for, she has a devious mind and a hard exterior. Maybe Anthony’s right and I should distance myself because I don’t want to be caught in the explosion when that particular bubble bursts.

  2

  “Remind me again why we’re doing this?”

  I groan and look over at Miranda who looks as if she’s about to keel over.

  Grinning, I nod towards the perfect specimen of a man that’s putting us through our paces. “I expect it has a lot to do with the view.”

  We giggle and look across at the only reason we came. Darren. Our total Adonis personal trainer and the man who runs the boot camp in the grounds of the country club we all religiously head to every week for fitness, socialising and more eye candy than a woman can stand.

  Miranda giggles. “I’ve got to hand it to Fleur, she was spot on with this. If it wasn’t for Darren, I’d be wrapped up warm in my bed and dreaming of a man like him next to me.”

  “Keep up ladies, you’re wasting valuable energy by talking.”

  Trying not to laugh, we set about doing what Darren says and try desperately to remember why we’re here.

  Despite the ungodly hour of 6.30am, we all flock here in droves twice a week just to lust after the total God that runs this class. Spaces are limited, and it requires setting an alarm the moment the slots are released each week just to grab one of them. Luckily for us, we have all managed it this week and as I catch sight of Fleur, I try not to laugh. Venetia catches me looking and rolls her eyes and I can see why. Unlike the rest of us, Fleur turns up here in full makeup with her hair neatly scraped back into her sleek ponytail, wearing designer fitness gear that costs a small fortune. Her manicured nails look as if they never see housework and she spends the entire class trying to prove she is better than the rest of us at just about everything. She always positions herself as close to Darren as possible and I’m sure it’s so he gets a clear view of her cleavage as she squats in front of him.

  I, however, must look a hot mess with the sweat dripping down my back creating alarming damp patches all over my vest to match the ones down below because Darren is seriously hot. The country club wasn’t silly in signing him up because without him as the main attraction, it’s doubtful anyone would bother to come.

  I watch Venetia going at it like she does everything in life. Totally committed and with a seriousness that got her where she is today. Out of all of us, she’s the only one with a full-time job and isn’t here all the time. She’s an Air Stewardess so is away a lot which can’t be easy on Matthew, her husband, who is left behind running the Airline that she works for.

  “And breathe…”

  Looking up, I see Darren beaming around at us all and my heart flutters - again.

  “Great work, ladies. Now, same time again on Wednesday and remember to keep your fluid intake high after that workout.”

  He turns away and I watch with amusement as Fleur grabs hold of his arm and pulls him close, whispering something in his ear. Her body language couldn’t be more suggestive if she tried as she rests her ample chest on his arm and flirts like a pro, demanding his attention as only she can.

  Venetia stands next to me drinking deeply from her water bottle and says irritably, “Look at her, what a tease. You know, I can see why wags get such a bad press, she couldn’t be more stereotypical if she tried.”

  Miranda nods. “She doesn’t help herself that’s for sure.”

  Fleur’s soft giggle carries across the grass towards us and Miranda scowls. “It’s just not fair. Why is life so cruel? I mean, it’s just plain annoying that she has everything. Stunning looks, amazing body and the fittest guy out of all of them and still it’s not enough. To be honest, sometimes I really hate Fleur.”

  I say in surprise. “You don’t mean that.”

  Miranda scowls. “I bloody well do. To be honest, she is seriously grating on me lately. We’re expected to do everything she says all of the time and if one of us has a suggestion she doesn’t like; she puts her foot down. Take that stupid fortune teller as an example. None of us wanted to go
and yet she made it so we couldn’t refuse. I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ve had enough.”

  Venetia nods in agreement. “You’re right Miranda. Maybe we should all stand firm and put her in her place. I mean, after all, she’s only here because her boyfriend’s successful.”

  Miranda nods and I feel uncomfortable speaking about Fleur like this. For all her faults she does have a kind heart and if she didn’t organise things, none of us would have half the fun that we do.

  Luckily, the conversation stops as she heads towards us looking extremely pleased with herself.

  “Weep in your beds ladies because I’ve just secured myself the hottest personal trainer in history. Darren has agreed to do a little one on one with me on Friday lunchtimes. I’m not going to lie; I feel quite smug about this.”

  Miranda looks envious as Venetia snorts, “And what’s Anton going to make about that? I mean, I’m pretty sure he won’t be comfortable with his um… girlfriend getting close and personal with another man on his hard-earned money.”

  Miranda nods. “Yes, maybe you should ask him first.”

  Fleur looks annoyed. “Anton wants me to be as fit as possible, after all, he gets to reap the rewards. You know, Venetia, you’re just jealous because your husband is nowhere near as fit as mine and you have to work for a living.”

  We look at her in stunned silence as Venetia says icily, “For your information, Fleur, I work because I want to. Matthew has begged me to give up work so we can start a family and I have dug my heels in because I don’t want to be a kept woman, unlike some around here.”

  She glares around at us all and storms towards the changing room as Fleur shakes her head. “Ooh, I touched a nerve there and I’m guessing it’s a different story than the one she’s telling us. I mean, Anton told me that Matthew loves the fact she still works because he can’t stand breathing the same air as her.”

  She looks at her Rolex and says in a light voice, “Well, I can’t stand here gossiping all day. I must shower and change and head to the spa for my sports massage. Catch you later, ladies.”

  As we watch her go, Miranda shakes her head. “That was intense. I don’t know about you, Arabella but I was quite uncomfortable there for a moment. Why do women have to be so bitchy? I mean, we’re all friends and should have each other’s backs, don’t you think?”

  Nodding, I grab my water bottle and start walking with her back to the changing rooms. “I agree. Have you noticed these bitchy comments seem to be coming more often lately? Do you think there’s some sort of issue between the two of them?”

  “Maybe, but I expect it’s because they’re just different types of people. I mean, Venetia is quite abrupt with everyone and doesn’t suffer fools gladly. I’m a little envious of her though.”

  I look at her in surprise. “Why?”

  Suddenly, my friend looks so sad it takes my breath away as she says in a small voice, “At least Matthew wants to spend time with her; I wish James felt the same about me.”

  Reaching out, I take her hand and say softly, “He loves you; everyone can see that. What makes you think otherwise?”

  “I’m not sure, really. He works hard, I know that but when he is home, he’s so… well, distant actually. I’ve tried to draw him out of himself but he’s like a closed book these days and I wonder if something’s wrong that he’s not telling me about.”

  I’m not sure what to say and just look at her sympathetically before she whispers, “Do you think he’s having an affair?”

  Her words shock me and I immediately shake my head. “Of course not, he adores you.”

  She shrugs. “I thought so too once.”

  She sighs and then switches the subject. “What about you, how are things with Anthony?”

  Trying not to sound too smug, I say softly, “Great actually. He’s like the rest of the men, works hard but when he’s home, we enjoy each other’s company.”

  She smiles and I feel a pang as I say sadly, “Although, Venetia’s words made me a little envious too.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if Anthony told me he wanted to start a family, I would be on it like a shot.”

  “Doesn’t he want kids then?”

  Miranda says it with surprise and I shake my head. “One day, just not now. He told me he wanted to be there for his children and because he’s working so hard it wouldn’t be fair.”

  Miranda nods but even I can see she doesn’t agree with his reasoning, which only amplifies the fact that I also don’t share his view. I want children and don’t want to wait a minute more but the trouble is, Anthony doesn’t agree, which leaves me wondering if this is something that will ultimately rip us apart.

  3

  “Do we have to go tonight?”

  I smile as Anthony’s arms wrap around me and pull me close. He nuzzles my neck and kisses it softly before spinning me around to kiss me long and hard. I melt against him as I always do and wish for the umpteenth time that we could miss this dinner tonight but know we can’t.

  Reluctantly, I pull back and smile ruefully. “I’m sorry, darling but we have to go. It’s Fleur’s birthday and you know what that means?”

  He groans. “A night spent watching her milk Anton for even more of his money while flaunting it at the rest of us.”

  I look at him crossly. “You sound just like Venetia. Goodness, she’s got some bee in her bonnet about Fleur and it’s getting increasingly hard to ignore the animosity she directs at her. To be honest, Fleur has been nothing but nice since she moved here and maybe she is a kept woman, but she genuinely loves Anton, it’s obvious.”

  Anthony raises his eyes and I stare at him crossly. “Stop it, you don’t know her as I do. Give the poor girl a break and then maybe you’ll see what the rest of us see.”

  I turn away and pull on the diamond choker that Anthony bought me for our third wedding anniversary and try to ignore the warning sirens going off in my head. Tonight may prove to be difficult and once the alcohol starts flowing, I’m guessing so will the pent-up emotions and recriminations that have been festering for weeks now.

  We make our way the short distance to Fleur and Anton’s house which is a mirror image of the rest of the houses in The Chase. All of them are absolutely huge executive homes, surrounded by manicured lawns and herbaceous borders. The plants that grow here are largely architectural and are crafted with precision with not a leaf out of place. Impressive driveways are illuminated by state-of-the-art lighting and the cars that sit on them cost more than most people earn in a lifetime. Privilege, wealth and decadence sit behind the electric gates of The Chase and reflect the personalities of its occupants. People who live charmed lives and have absolutely nothing to complain about but do their best to do so, anyway. Does wealth bring happiness? In our case, it would appear not.

  As we walk, I try to think of one other couple here that doesn’t have issues, us included and feel a shiver pass through me as I worry once again about what the fortune teller said. Anthony puts a protective arm around my fur-lined shoulders and says sweetly, “Are you cold, darling?” He gives me a gentle squeeze and I say softly, “Are we ok, Anthony?”

  He looks surprised. “Of course we are, why do you say that?”

  “I don’t know, maybe I’m just feeling that this is all too good to be true. Something’s got to give and I’m fearful for us sometimes.”

  He stops and puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me firmly in the eye. “I love you, Arabella and that’s all we need. Even if we lose our wealth, our home and the clothes off our back that will never change. You are everything to me and that makes us the richest couple I know.”

  He smiles and I see the love in his eyes and my heart settles. I’m not sure why, probably because it’s never far from my mind, I say hesitantly, “I want a baby.”

  He looks at me in shock and I can see why. We are standing in the middle of The Chase on a starlit night talking about everything but children. My heart sinks as I see the look in h
is eye and feel the tears welling up in mine as he turns away abruptly and drops his hands from my shoulders. “We spoke about this, Arabella. Why now?”

  “Because the need is overwhelming me, Anthony. It’s becoming the only thing I can think about. I know what you said but I can’t stop feeling this need to be a mother. Other people manage to work and have children, we can too, I just know it.”

  He starts walking quickly to Anton’s house and says sharply, “I’m not discussing this now. You certainly choose your moments, darling and this is typical of you.”

  Struggling to keep up with him, I say roughly, “What do you mean, typical of me?”

  He spins around and I’m surprised at the fire in his eyes as he snaps, “You never know when it’s the right time and place. Throwing this out here in the street when you know we have no time to discuss it. For god’s sake, Arabella, grow up.”

  He walks away leaving me open-mouthed behind him.

  I’m conscious of our neighbours leaving their house and look up as Miranda and James head towards me. Plastering a smile on my face, I say lightly, “Hey guys, you look lovely Miranda.”

  I don’t miss the surprise on their faces as they see Anthony standing waiting by Anton and Fleur’s front door and I roll my eyes. “Sorry, he’s always impatient to get to places, and I got a stone in my shoe. Chivalry is sure dead around here.”

  They smile but I can tell they know exactly what this is, a difference of opinion leading to another domestic. Sighing, I walk with them to join my husband and wonder if we’ll ever agree on this. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything, and he’s right, now is not the time but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that this is a matter that won’t wait. I want a baby and if Anthony won’t give me one, maybe I should find a man who will.

  4

  Walking into Fleur and Anton’s home is like walking onto a film set. Their home is everything one would expect from the home of a highly paid footballing superstar. Chandeliers twinkle from the ceiling and cast their light over the mirrored furniture and deep piled scatter rugs sit on top of a shiny, marble tiled, floor. Huge mirrors reveal the unworthy looking back at them and amazing flower arrangements sit on top of streak-free surfaces. The air smells of expensive scent and the soft music that pipes through the house creates a welcoming atmosphere.